The next part of our trip took us to the island of Koh Phi Phi, but it honestly could’ve taken us to Milton Keynes and we would’ve been relieved to leave Phuket behind.
(This is, of course, an exaggeration. We’re very lucky to be here. Please nobody take us to Milton Keynes)
Our opinions about Phi Phi differed before we even step foot on the island. I had been looking forward to perfect beaches and pedestrianised streets ever since we got to Bangkok. Josh, partly though osmosis but mostly through eavesdropping my tiktok for you page, thought Phi Phi would be all night life and a bit too “lads on tour” for us.
As usual, only one of us could be right. Predictably, it was me who was right, not Josh.
When you first get to the pier, it gets a bit chaotic; everyone is trying to grab their bags, there’s hotel reps and moped taxis trying to grab your attention, and the whole time port security is trying to funnel all the incoming visitors through the line to pay the 50 baht tourist tax. For reference, 50 baht is about £1.11 and we still saw a German tourist trying to dispute it.
As our hotel was only a sweaty 10 minutes away, we decided to take our chances and walk with our backpacks, which are feeling increasingly like our turtle shells. I’m glad we did this as we were able to get the lay of the land a bit and find a sight for sore eyes: McDonalds.
The hotel was set up in little bungalows with their own decks, which was a refreshing change from Phuket’s hotel and Anne Frank stairs Josh so lovingly described. Breakfast and pool use was also included during our stay so best believe we loaded up on food every morning.
Our cute little bungalow where we made friends with some kittens and lizards.
First thing we did when we arrived was go to the nearest travel desk and book a snorkelling tour for the next day.
Okay listen. I don’t want to hear any comments but we got McDonalds for dinner. No regrets at all because we got to sit on a beach swing and watch the sunset whilst finishing off our chips. Best McDonalds ever.
The next day we went on the snorkel tour. We were on a little boat with about 20 other people. And it’s here that I’ll hand the narrative over to Josh because I’m many things but brave is not one of them. Naturally I stayed on the boat for the following King Kong and Jaws interludes.
We got talking to a solo traveller from Belfast and ended up hanging out with him for the remainder of the tour. We’ll call him Ben because I’ve forgotten his real name.
The first place the boat stopped was called monkey beach, which is a tiny beach which used to be full of monkeys but was instead filled with about 300 tourists and 2 monkeys surrounded by crowds (again, we don’t count as we’re the main characters).
We then went to shark point and went snorkelling. Megan got back on the boat after 5 minutes but me and Ben carried on snorkelling and ended up seeing like 4 sharks. I had the disposable camera and ended up using all the remaining shots on what I can only assume are extremely blurry pictures of sharks. Megan was not best pleased with me, especially as this was my Christmas present to her. Who the hell blasts through 17 shots in five minutes? Twat.
The boat then went to blue lagoon and we got to jump off the end of the boat. I bombed into the water, Megan kind of just dropped in to the water, almost like someone falling overboard.
The next place the boat went to it stopped at for an hour and a bit and we got to walk around. Have you ever seen the film The Beach? Well it was at the beach from The Beach.
I can’t believe they made Maya Bay from The Beach a real thing
We got some food and got back on the boat. We finished the day with another snorkel, a beautiful sunset over the water and swimming with plankton (which glow blue when you move about).
The next day I went for a hike (without Megan) up the big hill on the island and visited the 3 viewpoints.
Good a place as any to have a jam sandwich
The view was stunning, you can see the whole island. When I got to the 3rd viewpoint I sat down to eat my lunch and watch the boats go by when all of a sudden a monkey jumped up on to the viewing deck right in front of me. I got up and grabbed all my things before he could take them and its a good job I did because he went a stole someone elses coconut. Monkeys are pricks.
It’s hard to believe there’s a real world back home where it’s freezing cold and you have to go to work everyday. Although, when we get home at the end of March, only one of us has a job to go back to and hopefully the weathers a bit less rubbish. In the meantime, we’re heading to Koh Lanta next.
